Do you sometimes suffer from self-doubts?
We all do at some time or another.
Those annoying thoughts that may just pop into our heads at the most inappropriate times – such as before giving a presentation, walking into a room full of strangers, going to an appraisal at work, going to see your boss to ask for a promotion or payrise or simply when you’re just going about your day.
Just think about how your self-doubting thoughts can play out in a particular situation.
Do you ever feel that you’re procrastinating because you’re not truly going for what you want?
Do you sometimes shy away from opportunities?
Do you sometimes get in the way of yourself somehow and sabotage your progress?
Do you sometimes feel burdened by negative thoughts?
Or simply, you just feel overwhelmed because you’re so busy, giving, giving and giving!
Self-doubts are typically clusters of small thoughts (or one big one) that often reoccur in specific situations.
Self-doubting thoughts are borne out of the quality of our thinking at that time – the state of mind we are in.
How does the quality of our thinking come about?
Usually the quality of thinking develops from our mindset – our state of mind, our attitude.
Our state of mind can change, grow and evolve over time, from the time we are born to old age.
The type of thinking we are prone to evolves over time and typically develops from childhood.
Our childhood experiences will have a tremendous impact on our confidence levels, self-esteem and how we feel about ourselves (our self-perception) and about life – people, situations and circumstances.
Beliefs and attitudes begin to form from a very young age.
For example, if a mother says to her child, “Oh you horrid child,” the child may feel that her or she is unloveable.
If a dad says to a child, “Oh you embarrass me,” the child may feel shamed.
If a teacher crossly says, “Oh, you silly child,” the child may feel that they are silly or stupid.
Sometimes, all it takes is for a comment like that to be said to a child that can impact them in a huge way, playing out in scenarios in adulthood, affecting their mindset, beliefs and quality of thinking.
Every child will perceive the same event in a different or similar way. With some children, comments like that may be like water off a duck’s back. For others’, they may ruminate, revisit, go over the scenarios in their heads over and over and it’s a BIG DEAL for them. The same goes for adults too.
They may take it personally.
Self-doubts could manifest in thoughts later on in life, such as:
I’m not good enough.
I’m not clever enough.
I’m not experienced enough.
I’m not wise enough.
I’ll never be successful.
I’ll never get what I want.
You get the idea.
However, it’s not just childhood experiences that can affect levels of self-esteem and self-confidence.
Life can be cruel sometimes.
Challenging things can happen.
Job loss, illness, bereavement, divorce, toxic or unhappy relationships, unemployment, financial problems.
Or there can sometimes be a general lack of fulfilment, lack of career prospects, lack of purpose, apathy, boredom, etc.
Life can sometimes get us down, affecting our self-perception, confidence and levels self-esteem.
Our levels of self-esteem and self-confidence are rooted in childhood then are affected by life experiences.
Our self-perception is created through EGO – our self image and begins when we are a baby.
If you want to build your levels of self-confidence and inject some more positivity in your thinking, then the good news is, is that you can!
All it takes if for your self-perception and the quality of your thinking to shift.
Therefore, your self-doubts will dissolve and no longer seem relevant and no longer have an impact on you.
The first step is understanding who you REALLY are. Who are you really, that goes beyond your roles (career title, academic qualifications, demographics, nationality, age, name, mother, daughter, father, brother, friend etc).
You get the idea.
Have a try. Do this little exercise. Get a pen and paper and ask yourself, Who Am I, Really? That forms the basis of your perceived Self-Perception.
And guess what?
It may not be true.
If you want to find out more about self-perception and how you can change the way you think to feel more empowered, then join me on a webinar, 7 Ways to Build your Confidence:
Joining details below:
When: Dec 5, 2019 13:00 London
Topic: Empowerment Webinar for Working Women
Register in advance for this webinar: CLICK ON LINK BELOW TO REGISTER:
https://zoom.us/webinar/register/WN_IQCg0_c4QZO7ALhRP7Zt3g
After registering, you will receive a confirmation email containing information about joining the webinar.
I hope you can join us!
Desi x
